Many years ago I opened a file on my computer called "The World Is Upside Down." There I would file anecdotes that illustrated the theory. It got too full and I let it languish. I was becoming a slave to a bitter, thankless master. Today, however, I must return to that long abandoned practice to vent.
I was speaking with one of my more cynical acquaintances and he noted, as more and more people seem to of late, that things are so "Orwellian." I appreciated his perspective, particularly since moments prior to that conversation I was serving as a civil traffic hearing officer and watching a video of the defendant running a red light. It doesn't get more big brother-ish than that.
Whether Orwellian or not, when the world gets as regulated and complex as ours has, it makes achieving even the most fundamental tasks monumental; in the process sucking out one's enthusiasm and drive and leaving behind a raving cynic. A big reason for this is that we are at the mercy of powerless individuals whose jobs allow no variance from the dictated march of regulations. They are merely interpreters. Customer assistance is a misnomer and that is perhaps why we rarely see the phrase anymore.
In just the last few days of normal existence I have repeatedly encountered such mind boggling pointlessness.
First, I am trapped in an endless spiral of dental/health insurance referrals that has been my bane for nearly five months. I must admit that I turn to it only periodically after some newfound encouragement or just enough of a hiatus to start to forget just how frustrating the whole thing is.
The issue: my daughter needs her wisdom teeth removed and her jaw fixed, procedures that both require anesthesia but could be done concurrently. The problem: one is covered by dental, the other by medical; both were initially diagnosed by the dentist who referred her to a very qualified specialist. (The medical doctor failed to connect her hearing problem with her jaw and sent her to a hearing specialist who confirmed that yep, she couldn't hear and wanted to send her to a neurologist. Even a high school anatomy student knew that was a ridiculous idea, as confirmed when she got her teeth cleaned, but I digress).
Now the competent oral surgeon is not on our medical plan but is on our dental plan. So we have to go back to the medical doctor for a referral. This involves an office visit, faxes and several phone calls for the medical office to appreciate just what the referral issue is. That requires the medical office to enlist the services of their FTE who does nothing but work on these issues with insurance companies (and who pays for that?). After a couple of weeks she determines that we cannot use the already identified and already consulted oral surgeon unless we can make a case that he is the only competent practitioner available to perform the procedure within a 25 mile radius.
So I go to the insurance website and take off the information for all the potential Aetna doctors who might fit into my puzzle. After calling 25 offices I found exactly ONE that even does jaw surgery. Coincidentally that person also does wisdom teeth and takes both of our dental and medical plans! Wahoo!
Right?
Wrong!
He is 25.03 miles from my home and his earliest possible appointment for a consultation (yes, we have to do that AGAIN)is in 8 weeks.
So, I figure I am home free and can just go back to the original surgeon. Buoyed by this new found evidence I take my dentist's advice and contact the medical insurer. But as he also advised, I didn't simply write as that would generate no response whatsoever. No, I emailed and snail mailed a letter and placed a personal call.
At least response was swift: they cannot talk to me about it unless I get a REFERRAL from my medical doctor's office--who, as noted above, HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!
Meanwhile, my disabled brother in law, Michael is planning a trip to the family home in Nova Scotia this summer. This requires a passport now thanks to the political response to illegal immigration-do nothing that will make a true difference but impose a massive burden on the people who have absolutely nothing to do with the problem. (I give you a million examples of those programs, starting with the TSA-but I fear disgression).
You may have noticed the advertisements at your local US Post Office-apply for your passport here! Well, we certainly did and from them purloined the passport application form which we took home and completed. We then followed the instructions carefully, gathered the necessary birth certificate information and cut the required check for $97. We left the oath and signature portion blank as that would be completed before an authorized government representative, who presumably works at the PO. With address and file folder in hand, Michael heads to the local PO with the assistance of Dial-A -Ride (one government subsidized service I am not about to complain about).
Michael dutifully waits his turn in line (no more number calling at the PO you know, a practice which I agree is much less efficient than merely waiting in line) only to be told that one requires an appointment made in advance to have the PO window attendant take in the application. Michael, understanding his lack of bargaining power, sadly wandered outside to call for the Dial-A-Ride home. Well, apparently the not so busy postal guy spied him standing outside for about 15 minutes and relented, bringing him in to complete the process without the almighty appointment. However, in an apparent effort not to let his emotional vulnerability overcome him, the postman requires Michael to stand there and fill out an entirely new application. Michael's limitations do not keep him down-he is no idiot-but his impairment to his left side has effected his sight and writing without a hand to hold the paper can be difficult-all of which add up to a potential for a mistake. Given the time frames for processing passports, any mistake is a potential huge delay.
To add insult to injury, the PO then charged him an ADDITIONAL $30. This part confused me the most. All we could figure was that he misunderstood and thought Michael was seeking to expedite the process, which does cost an additional $32. But we had no way of knowing as Michael had no clue why the guy charged him. (He has a limited income and had to time the application so that he had the $97 available to apply in the first place; $30 more is a big deal under such circumstances.)
My husband appeared to complain about this entire situation the following day. After explaining the $30 was a processing fee and referring him to the "federal government" to file the complaint, the irritable postman, emotions now carefully in check, observed that he probably should not even be discussing this with my husband due to privacy concerns.
Don't even get me started on the absurdities and unintended consequences that have been unleashed as the result of our new obsession with privacy!
My final gripe for this last fortnight is with the girl scout organization. My daughter has earned her Gold Award. This is the equivalent of the Eagle Scout. Oddly everyone knows of the Eagle Scout but virtually no one is aware of the Gold Award. This is due to the absolute lack of public relations skill on the part of the organization. If it doesn't involve cookies they are hopeless.
I will be the first to admit that my daughter was less than enthusiastic about this project and had to be poked, prodded and practically dragged to getting it done (she is, after all, a teenager). But her lack of zeal is perfectly mirrored by the behavior of the people at the top of the GS food chain. Every step of the way they had to be poked, prodded an practically dragged to return a phone call, communicate with one another, process paperwork, etc. And most annoyingly they acted like it was a hassle for them to even have to deal with the process.
Even more puzzling is their reaction to these accomplishments. It seems that our troop is viewed with a jaundiced eye as they have an absurdly high rate of Gold Award achievers. Rather than seeking out the leader to tap into her successful process and package it for use by other troops they react with suspicion that these girls somehow cheated to get the jobs done. I will say this, the requirements for earning badges and patches were clearly dreamed up by some committee in the clouds in need of a reality check. The time and effort required for many of the nonsensical hoops associated with them were on par with a thesis. Although systems like that almost force cheating because they are so unrealistic and impossible, I can attest that there was no cheating here. What a disappointment to find that this organization has become a victim of its own bureaucracy. No wonder out of 19 kindergarteners in the original troop, my daughter is the sole high school senior survivor.
I am certain I am preaching to the choir with these complaints but for heaven sake can this really continue? All of this waste is extremely expensive: it costs us in cold hard cash, precious time, and psychic health (not to mention global warming).
We know the VA Tech shooter has just been to the post office and had recent encounters with the health system; I wonder if he knew any girl scouts.
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