Campus Life Circa 2011

 There are any number of reasons why Americans are behind in science and technology. Here is a retelling of a recent event on a major US campus that is illustrative of many things.

Today, as I was walking with a friend through the diag (the heart of the campus), I stopped to talk to a group of feminists that were picketing the new theater production that has come to campus: the 'Penis Monologues". Their issues with the production were numerous, but the main argument was that it was directly attacking and seeking to invalidate the 'serious message' of the "Vagina Monologues".

Now, I knew that by being brazen and snarky, I was likely to get myself into some trouble, but we were out in the public, in the diag, which is the Acropolis of the school--a place for open and interesting discussion. My first question was my first mistake:

Me: "Don't you think that by protesting a satire, you are making a public mockery of your original cause?"

Angry Feminist #1: "How could we not be infuriated by a counter-attack by the men that have been oppressing women since the agricultural revolution? We're fighting to save the message in our production."

Me (this is where I really go wrong): "But what would you say the overall message is?"

AF#2: "Obviously it's about the beauty and integrity of the female anatomy!"

Me: " Not the superiority?"

AF#2: "This production is a criminal attack on what women have worked for years to achieve! But still we find ourselves criminally oppressed, and "they" are allowed to criminally mock something that we find sacred. Just what are you getting at?"

Me: "Look, I just think that the militant feminist message just works against the overall good for the female population. Men aren't stupid, or evil or part of a giant conspiracy to keep women in the household and out of the workplace. In fact, women currently enjoy a greater employment rate than men, and those that are married--even higher incomes. Maybe a little satire and reflection would do your cause some good. Your argument is theoretically contradictory to the first amendment. Your outrage isn't going to accomplish anything. If you really want to do something about it, I suggest that you sue the author of the "Penis Monologues" for copyright infringement."

AF#1: "Do you even hear yourself? You're becoming a victim of their ideas!"

Me: "Of course I do, but as a woman, and not an arcane second-wave feminist, I'm capable of thinking through foaming-mouthed conspiracy theories fed to me by girls who got stood up for their junior-year prom."

Then I started running. I didn't stop until I was behind the counter at the cafe.

I really did just want to have some semblance of a level-headed discussion with a feminist, and I don't know why I thought that a picket was the time or place. I probably shouldn't have been so snarky, and the above is abridged from the 5-minute conversation that took place. I tried to reason with them at first, but when the argument was essentially a really annoying conspiracy theory that they are allowed to not only study but graduate with a concentration in, I just rolled my eyes and told myself that even something as silly as Art History has more intellectual integrity than the Women's Studies department, I decided to just be as snarky as I possibly could. Rude? Yes. Entertaining? Highly.

My end report: Feminists are ruining my chances at being taken seriously in my future workplace.