Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Is There Really Any Difference?


One of the fun things about being an all-inclusive household is that you get all the mail. Until very recently (I say recently because one of us threw in the towel and went independent, unable to take it anymore) we have had a registered republican and a registered democrat living in near perfect bliss under one roof. This is not unusual; my parents are the same way and have just celebrated 56 years of marriage. This dual registration has enabled me, over many years, to conduct an empirical survey of sorts by comparing the mail.

I suspect that one of the major impediments to resolving the huge problem that has developed in each and every one of our fundamental institutions stems from the two party system of politics. Although they may seem to be completely different, the two parties are actually exactly the same.
I came to this in part from my own survey of the mail and in part from my observation of the general goings on. I know, I know, it has always been like this-I only read non-fiction as you know. But I have also concluded that as voters we are all being duped into thinking that what has evolved into a mere political categorization of cash presents no real differences between the groupings. Sure, they espouse platforms that seem diametrically opposed, but fundamentally they are just the same. [I just can't stop thinking about Paulson and Geitner-- the twin towers of Goldman/Fed greed and financial frontmen of different political persuasion.]

The masters of the game are the head honchos in Washington DC known as "Democratic Party Headquarters" and" Republican National Committee." These organizations are the lifeblood –the aortas facilitating the green blood that feeds the guts of all campaigns. Sure, you can make your measly limited donations to individual candidates, but all those local fund raisers are just a feel good moment to appease the little guy into thinking he actually plays a role. Compared to the party blood clot, your money is just a white blood cell.

But where do they get their dough? Well from big donors mostly. But once in a while they want to keep up the theater that they are actually listening to you, the voters, so they send out a "survey" which if read properly is a pay to play, or a fund-raiser disguised as a chance at participation.

What I found most interesting about the latest salvo in the big time political game is how homogenous it is. Both parties are conducting a survey. They must have internal spies in one another's organizations for low and behold both parties surveys landed in the mail box on the exact SAME day. Aside from the fact that one was blue on grey and the other had a bright yellow envelope, they are virtually the same. Oh, one other big difference—the democrats are at least up front about it-the funding ask is right at the beginning. Those clever republicans wait until they have you all riled up after reading the specifically worded questionnaire before they actually get to the money part.

Otherwise both have charming and personalized letters to Dear Mr. or Mrs. MacEachern from the Chairman himself regaling us on the importance of recognizing the horror of the opposing party and rising up to save the country from them. And how will they accomplish this daunting task? By having you return the survey (top priority) and throw in some money along with it (priority number 2, of course) right away or all will be lost. And best of all you get to do it without even having to put a stamp on the envelope. They pay the postage!

The fun part is you get to tell them exactly how you feel by answering their questions in their own words. The Republicans have boiled it down to only 15 hot button items to which you can answer yes, no or "no opinion." The probing questions of course are sweepingly broad and not so subtly worded and they give the impression that these issues are all basically pretty cut and dried. You agree with the President and his minions or you don't. The Democrats on the other hand are more interactive, asking us to rank their list of issues by priority using similarly accusatory language (still blaming Bush-will they never get over that guy?) and generalizations that are equally as devoid of true meaning as their counterparts. At least they give subsets of questions within 8 general categories and a couple of blanks for you to actually fill in a very tiny concern, as if anyone will actually ever read it. Most amusing is the presumption among all of it that there are simply no grey areas; everything can be reduced to essentially black and white sound bites. {Maybe the democrats chatted with some color expert when they chose to print on grey paper. No doubt such a huge decision would require an outside consultant to determine if that would impart some sublimal effect of lulling the survey taker into a false state of admiration for the depth of the insight contained in the questions.}

Would that the world were so simply summed up that a two page multiple choice test is all we need to solve the massive concerns before us. Obviously each group has an agenda that has been set in stone in some dark carbon dioxide-filled room by a bunch of egotistical, self –appointed, hapless schmoes who value power and the money that goes with it over truly making things work; they have all the answers and only need us to confirm their suspicions by checking some boxes.

Both parties are equally deplorable as they are equally nonsensical. This exercise proves one thing for certain. There is not enough brain power or creativity among the whole lot of them to simply figure out how to differentiate themselves from one another. Given that they can't even do that, it is no wonder things just keep getting worse and worse.

Having carefully reviewed these documents I have but one regret--free shredding day was yesterday—the same day they came in the mail. (Do you suppose they researched that?). I could always just send them right back unanswered. After all it would be free. I wonder if they would even notice.

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