How Could I Have Done This Without Facebook?

According to an article in THE WEEK (great mag-you should subscribe, even if it is your only subscription) a new study reveals that every seven years people change about half of their friends. Dubbed a seven year itch, the study shows that friendships evolve along with the facts of life and that people move in and out of the picture with convenience playing a big role in the longevity of friendships.

That article and the fact of a recent reacquaintance with my roommate from the 1970's (she has not changed a bit)got me thinking about my friendships and how, as usual, I am unusual.

My oldest continuous friend has been a pal since about 1975. Oddly it is a guy-Greg Nugent. We don't hang out alot but we do periodically and have been consistent friends for the entire time. Somehow I still possess his college ID card. Weird. We still get together with my 1970's landlord/friend and his wonderful wife, Bob and Sharlene.

Shortly after that I met my next longest continuous friend, Craig and his wife is my very longest girlfriend Michelle) and we have been close all this time; we can easily track the years as we met right after the birth of their son, our godson, Eric. We had a small gang we ran with and although two sets of them moved away we are still in regular touch with one and periodic touch with the others and see one another when we are within reach of one another. I am in business with one who lives in Indianapolis.

Doug's oldest consistent friends, who are now friends of mine, date back to high school. There is a substantial number of them and although scattered throughout the country they maintain regular contact and even use that as an excuse to go to Vegas annually.

We made a number of friends right around the time of our marriage (30 years) with whom we still have contact. Some have married and divorced and in some cases we are still friends with both.

Yesterday I ran into a guy I had not seen in many years who Doug worked with at Phoenix Magazine and we picked right up where we left off, genuinely very happy to see one another. We bonded with a bunch of people when Doug worked at a local alternative paper in the early 80's, most notably the Walkers, and we still socialize with a lot of them. One of my closest friends was my neighbor during my law school years and here we are 22 years later. Doug's Tribune days yielded some close relationships especially Jon and Bev.

A group formed in law school that is still regularly meeting for dinners 3 or 4 times a year, nearly 20 years later. We have another gourmet group that morphed into a travel group that has splintered and reinvented but are tight with that crowd for well over a decade.

I collected close friends at my various jobs as well, still having contact with a number of people I came to know in the early to mid 90's, with a couple of especially close friends we acquired through Attorney General and ADEQ connections.
We have a so called movie group that has been loosely organized for quite some time but as the late comers we have been involved for probably around 8 years or so.

And then there are the folks we connected with through our children, most intimately the Roneys and a number of others who remain in the picture. This includes those we met through girl scouts and traveled with. In addition, the mob of women known as the spa maidens have been hanging tight since the 90's.

My parents are the same way and as a result we count among our friends people we have come to know so well through my family. There are a bunch of them and we have been regulars for probably about 30 years.

And now we are acquiring friends in the generations below us. In fact we had a little party last week for a few of our "young friends"; thirty somethings who we have grown fond of. In addition we have the children and grandchildren of all of the above. And there seems to be a baby boom going on right now so more are on the way!

This doesn't even count the people who I count as friends but with whom I would be [happily] stuck with anyway because we are related either by blood or marriage and there are tons and tons of people in this wonderful category.

I realize that studies are generalizations. This is one I don't feel bad about being outside the normal range for. It prompted me to take this inventory and in so doing I realized two things: 1) I am incredibly blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life and 2) it is no wonder I get so panicked about sending out Christmas cards every year-there are so many I want to write personal notes to that it is almost overwhelming.





I love you all.

Sarah Boyle Victim of Retard?

Figure 1AP Photo/Andrew Milligan/PA

 

Civilization is not always what it is cracked up to be. We pride ourselves in being at a sophisticated peak in the evolution of our collective maturity level, what with rising above the need for inhumane things like torture and all. But I believe the Susan Boyle episode exposes our collective humanity for what it really is-drenched with human nature's preoccupation with ego. It is that innate need to feel good about ourselves that drives us to continually find ways to set ourselves apart from one another. We may think we are getting close to obliterating prejudice but actually we are just more creative about fooling ourselves into thinking that our judgments are not about plain old disdain for people who are not like us.

The name of the show, Britain's Got Talent, a sister to the American Idol program, supposes a mission of finding raw talent that can be exploited as an entertainment career as opposed to being simply lost amongst the maddening crowd of the masses. But, as the name of the show implies, there is a difference between talent and skill. This year's British version apparently pitted talent against skill in its final round. In doing so it seems to have failed to distinguish between these two attributes and the public awarded the prize to skill in contravention of the very name of the competition. The winner was a dance troupe that performed an intricate set of timed moves. No doubt this was quite an accomplishment, but the act is the product of serious work and training on the part of the dancers who have honed a complex physical and mental skill. Indeed, while the choreographer may have tremendous talent, the troupe itself had tremendous skill. At best it is unclear whether the choreography is the focus of the achievement on the show. Susan Boyle on the other hand is the epitome of "talent" in that her innate singing ability is a gift that sets her apart from singers in general.

So how to explain why Susan did not win? Simple. Susan was deprived of oxygen at birth. In short, she is a retard. Having been "slow" all her life, she devoted herself to the menial task of "caring for" her parents. As poor people, lacking the resources to provide any educational opportunities to lift their infirm child higher given her limitations, they apparently settled for making her the scullery maid. While great for the family unit, which no doubt exuded tremendous love and true devotion, this did nothing for Susan's life after her parents are out of the picture.

People do not like retards. Much as we hate to admit it, as a group humans feel safe in expressing their gratitude that they are not like that. To face the fact that her singing talent could trump the lack of development of her other skills is just too tough to overcome. Even in that 1980's TV show Life Goes On about the family with the Down Syndrome child, dubbed the most heartwarming show ever, by the second season that kid's stories were taking a back seat to those of the normal members of the family. In the ensuing 20 years nary another show with a character like this has been seen.

My friend Cassie Sims pointed out that this phenomenon was very succinctly summarized in a scene from the Ben Stiller movie Tropic Thunder called Never Go Full Retard. The Robert Downey, Jr. character explains that as an actor the impaired character always needs a redeeming quality, like Dustin Hoffman's autistic Rain Man and Tom Hanks athletic Forrest Gump. These fellows both won Oscars for their portrayal but poor Sean Penn who went all the way with Sam was overlooked. Here is the link so you can watch it yourself:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffEdO-UG4ZU

 

I guess that when they get around to making the Susan Boyle movie, whoever portrays her has a better chance at winning the big prize than she did in her own competition. She does indeed have talent, notwithstanding what those dopey voters said. I guess you just can't change people. Sad.

Im Memory

Esther Beyda

Beyda, Esther
79, passed away unexpectedly at home on May 22, 2009. She lived her life as a devoted wife, mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. She spent the last two years as a mentor for students at Sunburst Elementary School, where the children and staff loved her as much as she loved them. Ironically, the woman who refused to sit down and eat her own cooking brought so much joy to those at the table through her classic Jewish recipes. Her family takes comfort that she is now with the love of her life, Sam Beyda, who we lost almost three years ago. She is survived by her son Jack (Mary) Beyda, daughter Michelle (Craig) Anderson, grandchildren Cyndee (Travis) Markel, Suzzanne (Adrian) Ravitz, Brian Stolt, Eric (Shelly) Anderson and Ryan Anderson, and six great-grandchildren. Graveside services will be held at 10 a.m. on Tuesday, May 26, 2009 at Beth El Cemetery. In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations be made to Hospice of the Valley or ALS Valley of the Sun. We miss you already…give Papa a big hug for all of us.

The INDY Mechanic-My Distant Cousin

As the Indianapolis 500 approaches, it seemed fitting to pass along this "discovery" by some distant relatives about another distant relative

                            Here is the webaddress for the complete site: http://brawnerhawk.com/index.htm   

                    We currently live just a few blocks from Clint's 7^th Street and Glendale shop location, now considered Central Phoenix.

 

 

 

Indycar Chief Mechanic

Clint Brawner was born on December 15, 1916 and grew up in what was then the north
Phoenix. From an early age his mechanical skills were obvious as he maintained and
repaired the family's farm equipment and when he was old enough to drive he started
going to the local races and helping out in the pits.

He saw his first Indy 500 in 1938 and in the late forties he started running his own Midgets
at some of the local dirt tracks. His talent as a race car wrench was recognized and in
1950 he went to Indianapolis at a crew member before starting an unparalleled run of champ
car success in 1953, when Al Dean asked Brawner to prepare and care for the soon-to-
be-famous Dean Van Lines Specials.

By then Clint and his wife Kay had bought a house on 7th Street and Glendale, still
considered the outskirts of the Valley of the Sun, and built a race shop. That was where
Clint Brawner helped to elevate the Offy roadster and Indy racing to the pinnacle of
professional motorsports before doing the same thing with the new rear-engine cars;
specifically, the Brawner Hawk.

Driven by Mario Andretti, Brawner Hawks won USAC National Championships in 1965,
1966 and 1969, finishing second in 1967 and 1968. The Hawks found Victory Lane 30
times, the same number of pole positions Andretti earned while driving the creations Brawner
built in Phoenix, Arizona.

Clint retired in the early eighties and passed away on December 23, 1987. He left a legacy
of being a self-taught, tireless genius at engineering, fabrication and race car preparation,
epitomized by the Clint Brawner Mechanical Excellence Award presented annually every May
to one Indy 500 chief mechanic who "exemplifies the mechanical and scientific creativity,
ingenuity, perseverance, dedication, enthusiasm and expertise"
of its namesake.

 

 
 

Finally We Agree On Something

As I was watching TV the other night I noticed that car commercials remained ubiquitous. I started scratching my head when I realized they were for companies who the government has been nudging into bankruptcy. The prudence of this advertising seemed dubious at best, even recognizing these contracts may have predated the real troubles (they could still be pulled upon the request of the advertiser). Then I saw this headline at http://www.autoblog.com/2009/05/12/report-obama-administration-slashes-chrysler-ad-budget-by-50/

Report: Obama administration slices Chrysler ad budget by 50%!

The fact that they had to be told to do this is astonishing and revealing all at once.

Watch the Senate Armed Services Committee

grill my friend Chuck Blanchard as the final vetting for his coming stint as General Counsel of the Air Force:

http://armed-services.senate.gov/Webcasts/2009/May/05-12-09Webcast.htm

Who Thinks Up This Amazing Stuff:?

DANCE OF 1000 HANDS...
Read the paragraphs below FIRST before you watch the video
There is an awesome dance, called the Thousand-Hand Guan Yin, which is making the rounds across the net. Considering the tight coordination required, their accomplishment is nothing short of amazing, even if they were not all deaf. Yes, you read correctly. All 21 of the dancers are complete deaf-mutes. Relying only on signals from trainers at the four corners of the stage, these extraordinary dancers deliver a visual spectacle that is at once intricate and stirring.
Its first major international debut was in Athens at the closing ceremonies for the 2004 Paralympics. But it had long been in the repertoire of the Chinese Disabled People's Performing Art Troupe and had traveled to more than 40 countries.
Its lead dancer is 29 year old Tai Lihua, who has a BA from the Hubei Fine Arts Institute. The video was recorded in Beijing during the Spring Festival this year.
If your Internet connection is very slow, start the download and come back later after the download is complete - it's an extraordinary piece of live art that shouldn't be missed . . . .
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgHmSdpjEIk